How much do you care what people think?

Okay, guys I gotta question for you… How much do you care about what people think?

If you’re anything like me then you probably spend a little too much time in this zone of pointless mental activity.

I think it’s only natural to want to feel loved, accepted, appreciated and valued by the people around you.

But what if these people weren’t positive or supportive or helpful? What if instead they crush your hopes, your dreams and your desires?

The other day I read an article about breastfeeding – a very hot topic in mummy-circles. Naturally there were women in favour of boobie and others pro formula. The thing that struck me most was how much these mums felt the need to justify their choices and explain their reasons for doing what they did.

This got me thinking, why do we care so much about what other people think?

After all we have no control over this and yet we often allow the opinion of others to impact our lives dramatically. Doing this can send us free falling into a whirl of uncertainty and pain.

But this needn’t be the case. We can take back control by becoming aware and conscious of how we choose to respond. What people think about you, your choices, your partner, your child, your job, your house, your car, your life, isn’t important. It really isn’t.

However, what you think about on a daily basis and how you react to what’s done to you is of paramount importance.

Here’s a little Nat background that I think you should know plus it ties in quite nicely given today’s example. Weeks after Muffin was born I was subjected to some harsh criticism from a close family member about our choice to breastfeed. (I say it was our choice because Millie was extremely keen and supportive about it. In fact he came with me to all the breastfeeding classes – bless him)

So, this person’s views - I’m ashamed to admit - greatly bothered me at the time. I wanted her to be more supportive. I wanted her to understand my reasons. I wanted her to encourage me. I wanted her to love me.

As I was reading some of the comments left by the mums in the article I couldn’t help but notice some similarities between us. They were desperate to convince people that what they were doing was right. Much like I tried to do back then.

The chief problem was this... I wanted these things from her. The fact that I didn’t feel that I was getting them wasn’t her problem it was mine. This was a massive Eureka moment for me!

I later realised that it didn’t matter what she thought, or said, or did. It really didn’t. Once I understood this and actively acknowledged that my happiness didn’t lie in her hands, or anyone else’s for that matter, everything changed, and I mean everything.

I truly believe we put way too much value on the thoughts and opinions of other people and in doing so we give them far too much power and control over thoughts, behaviour, emotions and in many respects our lives.

Our minds are incredibly powerful and ultimately we become what we think about. Our minds instigate our every move, our attitude and our behavior. This is why what we think about comes about.

This is why when I said everything changed when I stopped thinking about this person’s opinion of me and instead focused my attention (a.k.a my mind) on more positive and enriching thoughts the world became a much happier, friendlier and supportive place.

I strongly believe that with our thoughts we create the world. So it goes without saying that this shift in mindset enables us to show up differently, which effects the people we meet, our surroundings and to a greater extent the world.

Everything becomes brighter because we respond, interact and engage with people in a lighter and brighter way.

That’s why it’s so important to safeguard yourself from negative people. Protect yourself from their damaging thoughts that may drown out your own inner voice to do what you believe in your heart to be right, good and true.

I know this can be hard, especially with close family members and friends but it's essential. You really do have control over how much time and brain power you give to them and to the situation. You hold the power.

I think it’s important to note that the language and attitudes of the negative naysayers says more about them than it does about you. By challenging you, your dreams, your philosophy and your principles, they are simply projecting their own inner demons and limitations.

So seek solace in knowing that it’s not about you. It’s about them. They resist you because of their own inner voice telling them that what you're doing can't be done. I repeat, its about them.

Just carry on. Keep doing what you’re doing. Remain resolute in your desire and live the life you’ve always wanted.

Love
Nat x

Fancy a little chuckle then check this out. Here's a little poem I sent to some friends a while ago that I lovingly share it with you - it's just a bit of fun.

Ode to the Boob 

Dear God, I’m here on bended knee and pray you show me mercy.

I did what nature said I ought and fed my babe when he was thirsty. 

I nursed and gave, then gave some more, whenever he desired.

He was content, happy and pleased, while I lay drained and tired. 

The time has past and he has grown, it’s wonderful, it’s fantastic.

But I look down and am distressed, my boobs are flat – it’s tragic. 

The midwife lied; she said they’d stay. She lied! They’ve gone away.

I don’t know what on earth to do this is a sad sad day. 

I knew there was a price to pay and know in my heart it’s worth it

But Lord they’re near my belly now and stretchy like elastic.

 For breastfeeding mummies the world over, With Love Nat Millie x

And finally, I’d like to leave you with these beautiful words from Mark Twain. May they sing in your heart when you face opposition to your dreams.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can be great.”

PG Q: How did you overcome someone's criticism or negativity?