How much do you care what people think?

Okay, guys I gotta question for you… How much do you care about what people think?

If you’re anything like me then you probably spend a little too much time in this zone of pointless mental activity.

I think it’s only natural to want to feel loved, accepted, appreciated and valued by the people around you.

But what if these people weren’t positive or supportive or helpful? What if instead they crush your hopes, your dreams and your desires?

The other day I read an article about breastfeeding – a very hot topic in mummy-circles. Naturally there were women in favour of boobie and others pro formula. The thing that struck me most was how much these mums felt the need to justify their choices and explain their reasons for doing what they did.

This got me thinking, why do we care so much about what other people think?

After all we have no control over this and yet we often allow the opinion of others to impact our lives dramatically. Doing this can send us free falling into a whirl of uncertainty and pain.

But this needn’t be the case. We can take back control by becoming aware and conscious of how we choose to respond. What people think about you, your choices, your partner, your child, your job, your house, your car, your life, isn’t important. It really isn’t.

However, what you think about on a daily basis and how you react to what’s done to you is of paramount importance.

Here’s a little Nat background that I think you should know plus it ties in quite nicely given today’s example. Weeks after Muffin was born I was subjected to some harsh criticism from a close family member about our choice to breastfeed. (I say it was our choice because Millie was extremely keen and supportive about it. In fact he came with me to all the breastfeeding classes – bless him)

So, this person’s views - I’m ashamed to admit - greatly bothered me at the time. I wanted her to be more supportive. I wanted her to understand my reasons. I wanted her to encourage me. I wanted her to love me.

As I was reading some of the comments left by the mums in the article I couldn’t help but notice some similarities between us. They were desperate to convince people that what they were doing was right. Much like I tried to do back then.

The chief problem was this... I wanted these things from her. The fact that I didn’t feel that I was getting them wasn’t her problem it was mine. This was a massive Eureka moment for me!

I later realised that it didn’t matter what she thought, or said, or did. It really didn’t. Once I understood this and actively acknowledged that my happiness didn’t lie in her hands, or anyone else’s for that matter, everything changed, and I mean everything.

I truly believe we put way too much value on the thoughts and opinions of other people and in doing so we give them far too much power and control over thoughts, behaviour, emotions and in many respects our lives.

Our minds are incredibly powerful and ultimately we become what we think about. Our minds instigate our every move, our attitude and our behavior. This is why what we think about comes about.

This is why when I said everything changed when I stopped thinking about this person’s opinion of me and instead focused my attention (a.k.a my mind) on more positive and enriching thoughts the world became a much happier, friendlier and supportive place.

I strongly believe that with our thoughts we create the world. So it goes without saying that this shift in mindset enables us to show up differently, which effects the people we meet, our surroundings and to a greater extent the world.

Everything becomes brighter because we respond, interact and engage with people in a lighter and brighter way.

That’s why it’s so important to safeguard yourself from negative people. Protect yourself from their damaging thoughts that may drown out your own inner voice to do what you believe in your heart to be right, good and true.

I know this can be hard, especially with close family members and friends but it's essential. You really do have control over how much time and brain power you give to them and to the situation. You hold the power.

I think it’s important to note that the language and attitudes of the negative naysayers says more about them than it does about you. By challenging you, your dreams, your philosophy and your principles, they are simply projecting their own inner demons and limitations.

So seek solace in knowing that it’s not about you. It’s about them. They resist you because of their own inner voice telling them that what you're doing can't be done. I repeat, its about them.

Just carry on. Keep doing what you’re doing. Remain resolute in your desire and live the life you’ve always wanted.

Love
Nat x

Fancy a little chuckle then check this out. Here's a little poem I sent to some friends a while ago that I lovingly share it with you - it's just a bit of fun.

Ode to the Boob 

Dear God, I’m here on bended knee and pray you show me mercy.

I did what nature said I ought and fed my babe when he was thirsty. 

I nursed and gave, then gave some more, whenever he desired.

He was content, happy and pleased, while I lay drained and tired. 

The time has past and he has grown, it’s wonderful, it’s fantastic.

But I look down and am distressed, my boobs are flat – it’s tragic. 

The midwife lied; she said they’d stay. She lied! They’ve gone away.

I don’t know what on earth to do this is a sad sad day. 

I knew there was a price to pay and know in my heart it’s worth it

But Lord they’re near my belly now and stretchy like elastic.

 For breastfeeding mummies the world over, With Love Nat Millie x

And finally, I’d like to leave you with these beautiful words from Mark Twain. May they sing in your heart when you face opposition to your dreams.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can be great.”

PG Q: How did you overcome someone's criticism or negativity?

Cardinal Sin

I recently had a chat with a friend that I’d like to share with you. 

She’s in the process of setting up her own company so I tend to check in with her on a weekly basis to see how she’s getting on. 

She told me that she recently carried out a cardinal sin causing her to feel uninspired and lacking the motivation to achieve her goals for that week.

What was this cardinal sin, you ask?

It was the treacherous act of comparing. 

My friend decided to look up her Ex boyfriend’s Ex-girlfriend’s pictures on Instagram. Why? – I do not know. I guess she was curious. Now, we all now was happened to the Curious Cat…

Thankfully my friend’s actions didn’t lead to her demise but it did kill her momentum and crippled her creative drive for that week. 

She told me that she was left feeling dumb and inadequate by comparison. This made me sad. 

It was upsetting to think that a stranger’s pictures could have such a crushing impact on another person’s self-esteem. 

I know my friend isn’t an isolated case, which is why I’m sharing this experience with you. 

How many times have you bumped into an old school friend and thought something negative about your own life, your achievements, career, relationship etc. by comparison? 

How long do you spend on Facebook scanning photos of people you hardly know and come to the conclusion that they must be happier, or healthier, or richer than you?

Why do we do this?

The great news is this. My friend, who for the record is, beautiful, creative, hilarious, compassionate, adorable, intelligent, kind and the list goes on, realised the error of her ways and vowed never to engage in such soul-crushing behavior again. 

Nonetheless her story got me thinking about this act of comparing oneself. 

I consider it a cardinal sin because it can have a catastrophic effect on your thoughts, behavior, attitude and actions – it can be devastating. 

If Aristotle was right and “we are what we repeatedly do” then the habit of comparing ourselves to other people and ultimately feeling bad about ourselves will never lead to a positive outcome.

Now, I must tell you, I struggle with this all the time – she’s better at cooking than me or she’s got nicer hair, she’s more stylish than I am or heaven forbid she’s a better mother!Man, will someone shut that voice up! 

If life wasn’t hard enough and now I’ve gotta deal with my own internal self-destructive melodrama! 

It’s enough to make us scream and yet we do this to ourselves. 

No one is forcing us to spend hours on our phones and laptops scanning pictures of people when we should be asleep, working or being productive. We choose to do it.

Trust me, I know it’s hard to resist the temptation sometimes and you may not consciously mean to do it but the game of comparing yourself to other people is so rubbish because you lose every time. 

Here’s why: You compare yourself to a girl who’s doing her rightful thaang in the world and you think either you’re doing better than her orshe’s doing better than you. 

Both are rubbish outcomes because neither is good for your soul. 

It’s never good to think you’re better than someone else – that’s an ego trip we should never go on – and it’s never good to believe that anyone is better than you because they’re not.

My thinking is this. The only truly healthy outcome is one of abundance. 

When you see someone doing amazing things the best outcome of all is to feel genuinely happy, motivated and inspired by them. 

I’d go as far as to say you should feel this way to the point where you wish more success for them. 

If you are able to come away thinking positively about them; wishing you knew them, could one day meet them or be their friend then that would be awesome! 

These feelings are fabulous because they promote good-vibes. When you radiate good vibrations you channel your mind for abundance. 

As a result, you’ll attract more of the same into your world. Isn’t that amazing?

I strongly believe that you get in life what you put in therefore if you put positive vibes out into the universe then that’s what you’ll get back and usually far greater than you expected or could have possibly imagined. 

Any emotion south of abundance and love zaps your energy and prohibits your ability to grow and you’ll struggle to move forward in the direction of your dreams. 

This is why comparing is such a dangerous game. 

My rule of thumb is never compare friends, family or people in my wider circle, such as friends of friends etc. because it’s a slippery slide to No-where-ville. 

That doesn’t mean I never do it. It just means I try to catch myself before I get too deep into compare mode.

As for the inner voice that was telling my friend that she’s inadequate, I think it’s important to realise that “this voice” isn’t you! 

I know this sounds a little weird because it’s in you therefore its part of you, right? Well, not exactly. 

That voice isn’t your voice. It’s your all too powerful mind testing you. 

The voice is there to test your commitment to your goals, to test your resolve, your strength and your desire. 

I say, take note of it when it ‘speaks’ and then go into action as soon as possible to prove it wrong. 

I struggle with this myself all the time. 

My ‘voice’ tells me, I can’t… or I’ll fail… or I’m not good enough or smart enough all the freakin’ time. 

If I were to listen to it I’d get nothing done. The same goes for you. You are the person you are and where you in your life because you didn’t listen to that voice (or because you did depends if you’re happy or not!)

The truth is comparing is a natural part of being human so don’t beat yourself up for doing it from time to time. 

The key is how you choose to react to what you see. 

I believe that the requisition of an abundant mindset is the good way to go. 

I tell you what, if you must compare, compare your present self to your old self. 

Look at the journey your life has taken you on. 

The struggles you’ve overcome and the stronger person you are now as a result. 

Be proud of your relationships, achievements, your family and your friendships. 

Take pride in the tapestry of life that you’ve created. 

And always commit to showing yourself the same level of love that you so willingly give to others. 

I reckon failure to do this can be considered a cardinal sin in itself.

Here’s to your self-love and abundance

Love Nat x

PG Q: Do you compare yourself to other people? How do you keep a check on it so it doesn’t affect the quality of your life?

Diggin' this article? Then check out the Pearl Grace site www.pearlgrace.co.uk and sign up for FREE tips and insights to help you live a life you LOVE x 

Meet The PG Family

Welcome to the Family! Learn all about us here x

Master of the House

“Yeah, that's right people, I run the show."

Name: Ealy

Alias: Muffin Man/Easy E

Age: 1 but don't let that fool you... I know things!

Experience: Wouldn't you like to know… Hey, I've got eyes and I use them.

Skills: Clapping, waving, making lots of noise, feeding myself, and my proudest achievement to date, walking.

Favourite Songs: Buffalo Soldier, So Close and Locked out of heaven.

Favourite Show: Sesame Street (Standard)

Favourite Film: Well, Daddy wants me to like Transformers and Tron but I'm feeling Mary Poppins, My Fair Lady and The Lion King - Go Mummy!

Hobbies: Going to baby music class, swimming with daddy but not underwater, ain't feeling that so much. Pulling off mummy and daddy's glasses, putting things in my mouth - namely bits of fluff, mummy's hair and the remote - pulling Riley's tail and poking him in the eye. Ah, fun times.

My role: To be irresistibly cute.

Trusted Advisor

“Listen, I’m the voice of reason around here and you’ll realise that soon enough.”

Name: Riley

Alias: Mr. Riley/The Ryster/Sausage Roll

Age: 4

Experience: Well, living with this pack ain’t for the faint hearted so I can handle whatever you throw my way.

Skills: Look I don’t like to brag but I’ve been known to pull out a few party tricks in my time. I can roll over, bow, high-5, beg, all on command especially with a tasty treat as a prize. I’m pretty awesome when it comes to running and fetching too. Give me a ball, a Frisbee or a stick and I’m in my element.

Favourite Songs: Snoop Doggy Dogg (Obvs.)

Favourite Show: The Dog Whisperer (Naturally)

Favourite Film: Anything that the Old Man watches on his own that way there’s room for me on the couch as well.

Hobbies: Chasing squirrels, swimming, sniffing other dogs (not so cool with them sniffing me, mind), eating Muffin’s left overs – in fact this is fast becoming one of my favourite past times.

My role: I’d like to think I bring a much-needed canine perspective to the proceedings but for the most part I just eat and sleep a lot.

Big Papa

Name: Drew

Alias: Millie /Bluntboy

Age: Why? Who’s asking? I’m old, OK?

Experience: Life, and Master Easy E is teaching me a lot.

Skills: I can shake my bootie like Beyoncé when I’m in the zone.

Favourite Show: Ah that’s easy, anything where there’s a threat to civilisation and to life as we know it and Kiefer Sutherland is the only man in the whole world who can save us.

Favourite Film: Uh, it’s gotta be anything where the world is about to end and Tom Cruise and Will Smith are the only two people in the whole world who can save us.

Hobbies: Walking with a bouncy yellow lab pushing a buggy round the park with my hoodie up so I look tough – you don’t wanna mess with this papa smurf.

My role: Escorting the little man round to all his busy and important appointments.

The Little Lady

Name: Natalie

Alias: Titch/ Shortcrust/Smiley

Age: Old enough to remember when it was cool to rock my very own matching shell suit ensemble with purple Reebok classics. That was cool once, right?

Experience: Ah, you know this and that.

Skills: I’d like to reel off a long and impressive list that would make me sound like a savvy lady and a domestic goddess but the truth is I’m mostly proud of my ability to effectively and without mess change a poopy nappy on a toddler that thinks lying on his back is the worst thing in the world and to do this in less than 2 minutes.

Favourite Show: Peep Show, Scrubs, The Office

Favourite Film: Finding Nemo, Forrest Gump - “Life is like a box of chocolates” – Hash-tag love

Hobbies: Little bit of this, little bit of that.

My role: Seriously. How much time do you have?

In this HOME we do sharing. We do laughter. We do mistakes. We do real. Sometimes we do silly. We do our best. We do fun. We do grace. We do I'm sorrys. We do loud really well. We do hugs. We do family. We do awesome. WE DO LOVE. 

PG Q: What things make your family the best, fantastic, fun and special? 

Love Nat x
Live to the fullest, Love completely and Shop with passion.

The Inspiration

Pearl Grace is inspired by my mum, Pearlin, who passed away from breast cancer when I was 17. She was a remarkable woman. Although we only got to spend 17 short years together she left an indelible mark on me and has heavily impacted many of the choices I've made in my life. She loved her family and friends and was passionate about her career in nursing.

She was only 4ft 11 3/4 (she wouldn’t be happy if I forgot the 3/4!) but had a heart as big as the ocean. She was probably the most selfless person I ever knew. She was always willingly to put the needs, wants and desires of other people before her own and always did so with compassion and a smile. She was truly beautiful inside and out and was an inspiration to me when I was younger. I believe she continues to guide me now.

In 2011, I had an idea to set up an online retail company with a difference, well at least I hoped it would be. I wanted to showcase gifts that told a story and that made a difference in peoples lives. After several happy years in buying and sales for other companies and brands, I decided it was time to buy products that I felt passionately about. I’ve always been enthusiastic about products - where ideas stem from, how they are envisioned and the journey they go through to become a reality. I’m often moved when I hear stories of how the creation of a product can transform a person’s life, help a village or change a community. It’s profound when you find out that the creation of, say a cushion can provide a woman living in a remote part of world with the financial independence to become self-sufficient and support her family. I love stories like that! Ultimately it’s about people and the connections we make throughout our lives. I sincerely believe that fair-trade and ethical gifts transform lives. With these concepts in mind Pearl Grace was born.

Inspired by my mum’s heart and her guiding principles coupled with my passion for enriching people’s lives through the power of gift- giving, I set to bringing this vision to life. But life is a funny thing and miraculous things can pop up out of the blue that can change your life forever. Two months later we found out we were pregnant and were overjoyed. Nine months later we met our little titch and were overwhelmed by the immense love that every parent feels. All of a sudden I realised that our little boy came into our lives at that precise moment for a reason, which was to provide me with another perspective from which to bring Pearl Grace to life. Something extraordinary happens to you when you become a parent -  when you become a mother. I believe you see the world differently. The core values for Pearl Grace became crystal clear. It was even more important that I share with you some fabulous and unique gift ideas that were changing the lives of people the world over.  It was in that moment I realised that Pearl Grace was to be more than just an 'online shop'.

I am so excited to share this story with you and to warmly welcome you to the Pearl Grace family. You can learn more about us here and find out about our passions on Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter.

Before I leave you, I just wanted to share this little passage with you from Mandy Hale.  It resonated with me greatly when I was going through the process of bringing my dream for Pearl Grace to life. I found it poignant considering this bright idea stemmed from a place of loss and pain. I pass it on to you, in the hope that it may do the same and perhaps give you faith to believe in your dreams and find solace in the fact everything happens for a reason - even if the reasons are unclear when you're in the midst of a storm.

"Have faith in your journey. Everything had to happen exactly as it did to get you where you're going next."

You can discover more about Mandy Hale here.

Here's to whatever inspires you to shine bright in the world and touch people.

Love Nat x

Live to the fullest, Love completely and Shop with passion.

PG Q: What inspires you to go after your biggest dreams?

Pearl Grace is Live!

Pearl Grace: welcomes you

Hello Hello! It's been a busy few months but the Pearl Grace website is up and running. We officially went live September 2013 and have been blown away by the amazing feedback and support from friends, family and customers. Please check us out at where you'll find loads more on us, the PG family and the brand.

When I started this blog at the beginning of last year I had and no idea the journey that I was about to go on.  My intention was to blog the different stages of the journey as I developed the site and built the business however unfortunately this didn't happen. I simply forgot or felt "I didn't have time" - a tired excuse that I've vowed to stop saying as part of my many new years resolutions. Nonetheless I remain very excited about sharing these experiences with you here. Some of my post will be about PG, our products and our latest news. Others will be more personal, such as about me, my family, my life, the life lessons I'm learning, my dreams and experiences. I hope you find them enjoyable or at least remotely interesting. Please share your comments and thoughts - I care what you think so don't be shy - get in touch! You can find Pearl Grace on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. 

A little bit on PG

I sincerely believe that Pearl Grace is more than an online shop. At our core we are committed to providing you with exceptional products and excellent customer service and to do so with passion. Our online shop is a collection of gifts that are not only aesthetically beautiful but also have an authentic story behind them. We pride ourselves on supporting traditional craftsmanship and talented artisans from all over the world and we feel truly honoured that they have allowed us to be a platform to endorse their work. The most exciting part of all this is that we get to share these treasures with you. You can find out more about what drives us here and why we do what we do. We genuinely believe that the sharing of ethical, fair-trade, eco-friendly and sustainable gifts is good for the planet, can transform peoples lives and create economic and spiritual prosperity for everyone that partakes. Fundamentally this is why Pearl Grace exists and why I truly believe in the products that we showcase. 

A little bit about me

I'll do my best to keep this short.  I'm a mummy, wife, daughter, and sister. I'm a lover of life, animals, kind people, good 

food, delicious wine, yoga, working out, (or working in), spiritual awareness, self-discovery (plus your discovery, if you wish to share), personal growth and the quest for inner peace. I love movies, music, laughing out loud and crying (sometimes that's what your soul needs!) I love nature, our planet and the changing seasons, sunshine, rain and snow (not so keen on the wind!) I love to dance (a lot), reading a remarkable book, long walks and short runs. I love lazy mornings (not that we have many of those in our house) and late night pillow talk. I love holding hands, kissing and making love. I love warm hearts, hands and big hugs. I love sharing stories, celebrating birthdays and baking cakes. I love talking about hair, beauty, make up and clothes. I love talking about business, finance, health and wealth. I love the coming together of people, beliefs, understanding and tolerance. I love languages, culture and religions (I don't believe in any specific one in particular but believe whole-heartedly in the abundance of faith and love, which I feel all religions teach). I cherish quiet solitary moments and rejoice in the company of dear friends. I've experienced pain, loss and grieved with deep sorrow. I've treasured the times of pure ecstasy and euphoria that life has so kindly given me plus I welcome the many more I hope to come. I love to work hard and sleep peacefully. I strive to live each day with a sense gratitude and deep appreciation for being alive. And finally, I love you for taking the time to read this long-winded excerpt  - you are very kind to stick with me this far.

I think I've probably bored you enough so that'll do for now. You'll definitely discover more about me, Pearl Grace, my boys (my man, my babe and my dog) in the upcoming posts. Please feel free to post comments, share your thoughts, ask questions and spread the PG word. You can touch base with me personally on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ and I'll befriend you, follow you and circle-add you back. 

May I leave you with one of my favourite quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt on the purpose of life in the hope that you will carry it with you as you pursue your dreams:

“The purpose of life, after all, is to love it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

Take care,
Love Nat x
Live to the fullest, Love completely and Shop with passion.